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How Thankfulness Transformed a Heart

“One night God asked me to do something that was really hard.  He asked me to leave a note for Scott each evening… something that I appreciated… something I was thankful for. …This was not a simple task for me.  How long was I going to have to keep this up…?”  


Last month I talked a little bit about the power of thankfulness and how it changed my home. This month, I’d like to continue on that theme and share a powerful but also practical example of how thankfulness changes people’s hearts.

Especially our own.

If you read last month’s blog, I shared that in our 21 years of marriage, Scott and I have encountered some very real challenges. 

If you have been married perhaps you can relate.

Just as a little more background, up to this point in our story, Scott & I had been living very separate lives for the previous 4 years and were more like business partners than a happily married couple.

We talked about work, our kids and the decisions that had to be made, but apart from that, we really had no relationship or intimacy with each other. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, Scott was completely closed off. 

So, we co-existed and drifted…

I really had tried everything, from manipulation and control, to withdrawal, to ultimatums, temper tantrums…lol… you get the picture. 

Then one night God asked me to do something that was really hard for me to do.

He asked me to leave a note for Scott each evening in the bathroom where he showered. 

The simple note was to reveal something that I appreciated about Scott. Something that I could be thankful for. 

Well, as you can only imagine this was no simple task for me. I didn’t feel like doing it. I didn’t think I could do it, and I didn’t know how long I was going to have to keep this up. Honestly, all that went through my mind was “how in the world am I going to come up with things that I appreciate?”  

But I did it anyway.

The notes started out quite plain. Things like, “thanks for always keeping the vehicle clean and filling it up with gas for me.”

But as the days and weeks (yes, weeks!) went on, I began seeing more and more, what he did all the time. 

I began telling him how thankful I was for his faithfulness, how wonderful of a Dad he was, how diligently he taught our children to work, and that I loved his sense of humour (he’s always been able to make me laugh!) and on it went. 

After a month of intentionally looking for and recognizing what I was thankful for in Scott, it  was my heart that changed. 

I can’t speak for exactly how it impacted him. But what I can say is that we are still married, and I truly believe that sharing those simple little notes of thankfulness was a turning point in our relationship.

it helped turn my heart back to him.